You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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