I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
