peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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