well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
