idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
