Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
pop tarts are not kleenex
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
