Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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