shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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