I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
