I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
