The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
