just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
