nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize