Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
