How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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