I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
