There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
