I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize