She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Randomize
