So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
