i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
