nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
