what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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