how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Randomize
