sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Randomize
