he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
