you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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