she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
