Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
