It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
