I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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