I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I puked a lego.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
