i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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