meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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