even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
