therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
