I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
