just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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