she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
