She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
