her vagine was all disorganized.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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