you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
