you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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