you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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