Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm sobbing to NWA
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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