i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
