Where are you?
In a non slutty way
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize