it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
