i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm getting married
To pizza
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize