It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
