Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
