hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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