Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
