I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
