Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
