Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Randomize
