dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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