He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize