I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
