Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Randomize
