the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
