we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
