i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
