She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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