Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
