Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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