What a fucking waste of an outfit
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
