I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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