Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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