I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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