I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
