I wish my penis had an off switch
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
i think i just lost a toe
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
