Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
