can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize