Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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