I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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