The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
