I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Never underestimate the power of titties
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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